Weird Conversations - Part 1

Last night I came home from the store with yet ANOTHER encounter with someone who just HAD to share their opinion with me. Having people go out of their way to tell me what they think is something that has only happened (on a regular basis) since moving to Utah and one of the reasons I am so over living here. But maybe it's not where I live. Maybe it's me. Perhaps something about me just SCREAMS that I need to guided. I don't know. I do know that I am not making these weird conversations up. I used to have lots of witty replies but I have since become exhausted and usually just walk away quickly.

Scott told me that I really need to document all of these and suggested a regular post on my blog haha! Some of them are pretty ridiculous so I thought it was a good idea.
There are more where these came from that are much, much worse but these are the worst ones that have happened to me IN THE LAST 10 DAYS. Anyone else deal with this problem on a regular basis?

The following are actual conversations and what I actually said or did, but in italics are things I wish/thought about doing/saying but didn't.
Like I said- exhausted.

Checking out at Hobby Lobby:
Early 20's Female Cashier: (looking at my belly) How far along are you?
Me: Oh, about 30 weeks
Cashier: Are you having a boy or a girl?
Me: A little girl.
Cashier: Is this your first?
Me: Nope, my second.
Cashier: Do you have a boy or a girl?
Me: A girl.
Cashier: Do you want a boy?
Me: (starting to feel agitated by the fast paced interrogation) ... well, I'm not going to try for one...
Cashier: How many do you want before you're done?
Me: This is an insanely personal question and I don't know why it's happening right now. Um... 3?
Cashier: And then you'll be done?
Me: I'm done with this conversation. I don't really know.... I think I'm going to get through this pregnancy first...
Cashier: (abruptly) Well, have a good night!

While looking for flowers at Costco on Mother's Day weekend, I noticed that most of them were wilted and old. I was having a hard time picking any out for my Mother-in-law since they all looked so sad. So I said to Scott:
"I don't know, these all look kind of ugly"
To which a woman next to me looks at me like I am the biggest IDIOT she has ever seen and, with raised/furrowed brow says to me:
"They are kind of tulips."
I walked away without a word because I truly didn't understand why what I said was so horribly offensive. It's not like I was standing in her yard commenting on her garden or something...

Browsing at Old Navy
Woman: (tapping me on the shoulder) I hate when strangers tap me on the shoulder. This better be really important. They have a great maternity section at the Old Navy in Layton.
Me: That was not important enough to touch me. Oh, okay thank you.
Woman: Yeah, they are the only Old Navy in Utah that has a maternity section. You should go there.
Me: (looking at the two shirts I was holding- both from this location's maternity section): Oh, actually, they have a small maternity section in the back where I grabbed these.
Woman: No. They don't have a maternity section here.
Me: You're right. I'm lying to you. Have a good day. Well, it's kind of hidden.
Woman: There's only one in all of Utah and it's in Layton.

Luckily, there were a couple of Old Navy employees nearby that saved me from the conversation, but I could hear her trying to convince them of her maternity section reality as I escaped.

Checking out at Kohls
Early 20's Male Cashier: (holding up a microwavable heating pad I was purchasing) You know you can make one of these really easy right?
Me: Yeah, I don't have time.
Cashier: I'm just saying it's really easy to make and then you don't have to buy it. I can whip one up in a couple of minutes at midnight.
Me: (making very deliberate eye contact) If I had time to whip one up at midnight, I wouldn't need the therapeutic relaxation pillow in the first place.
Geez! Can't a woman use her Kohls cash to buy herself a little belated Mother's Day gift in peace?!

"I'm sorry I called you gap-toothed. It's not your fault you're so gap-toothed"

Recently, my good friend Liz wrote a great little blog post in defense of the movie Mean Girls. I am shocked by people who don't think this movie is brilliantly funny. I'm usually shocked by anyone who doesn't think Tina Fey is brilliantly funny, but we all have our biases (... biasi? bias'?)

Because Mean Girls is not just some kitschy teen comedy. It is one of the best examples I can come up with when discussing TRUTH in comedy. Perhaps it's because I was once a teenage girl that I find it so funny. I know what it was like to try and find your awkward little place in a world of stereotypes and unnecessary drama.

But I think that the reason I find the movie so stinking funny is because, even now, at 27 years old, I still feel like I associate with Mean Girls from time to time.

At the end of the movie, all the girls grow up and mature and find their inner peace and it's all a big happy ending. Which is true sometimes... but in my adulthood I have met those grown-ups who still use passive aggressive niceties to sabotage their "competition." And I'm being honest when I say that some of them are middle aged LDS men.

 When I come across these people, I never know what to do. I usually just run away from them.  I'm usually really disturbed at first. Then I go watch Mean Girls and laugh at how horribly petty it all is and sometimes get a little smack on the cheek as a reminder that I too, as a human being, have just a little bit of plastics in me.

P.S. Aren't these new photos of our Mean Girls bag hilarious? I never found mannequins so funny until I looked at these. 
P.P.S. I find it important to tell you that I spelled mannequins correctly on the first try. 

Weekend

For Mother's Day weekend, I did a few simple things that made me feel like I was on vacation. I have found that it doesn't take as much as it used to to help me relax.
Saturday was spent at Kneaders getting free french toast, and then Costco for samples* and to pick up some flowers for my mother-in-law. Scott insisted I get some flowers too, but I spotted World War Z by Max Brooks for the same price and opted for that instead.**
We took Georgia home for a nap at which point I declared I would be going shopping BY MYSELF for a gray maxi skirt. The skirt was a bust, but the silence and stress free atmosphere of a dressing room with no toddler was like being in a freaking spa.
Later, we met up with Scott's family at Memorial Grove Park and ate donuts and fried chicken and pineapple and strawberries. It was about 80 degrees and everything was pretty much perfect.
Today, I got to sleep in and was scolded for coming out of my room too soon and then promptly brought breakfast in bed. I ate it with two hands and no Georgia on top of me.
On top of sleep and eating uninterrupted  I also was able to have some time to myself and only had an audience one time while I peed.
After church and a nice nap, we went up to Millcreek canyon where we ate tuna sandwiches and applesauce and enjoyed the smell of outside. It was almost like Washington. Almost.

Scott's gift to me was all of the above, AND he detailed our car. I cannot tell you how happy a clean clean car makes me. I just keep looking at it. I know he put a lot of work into it and I'm so grateful. Georgia's gift to me was sitting perfectly still snuggled under my arm during the Babies documentary (one of our all-time faves) and going to sleep in her new toddler bed with zero tears shed.
I also haven't felt Miss Unborn Baby all up in my ribs today, and I would like to think that it was her way of wishing me a Happy Mother's Day.

All in all, it was a lovely weekend.

*The Mother's Day samples were two thumbs down, by the way. For Father's Day, it's all steak and potato samples. Moms got french green beans and grapefruit. Lame. 
**I'm about half way through and I never knew I could love zombie literature so so much. 

#UtahGrad

Today, I attended the University of Utah's 2013 commencement ceremony. Scott was in cap and gown somewhere in the midst of people in caps and gowns. I went alone (family is going to the convocation ceremony tomorrow), and I found it surprisingly difficult to find a place to sit just for one. Once I did sit down, no one sat around me- they probably assumed I was saving seats. I delighted in how incredibly different U of U's ceremony felt from BYU-Idaho's. There was a laid back, yet very excited energy.

These last two weeks have been rough on our little family. We have all been a bit stressed. So when they played Pomp and Circumstance, I lost it. LOST IT. All of the stress, all of the nagging, all of the missed buses, was suddenly so worth it. All of the times I fell asleep on the couch because the light of the computer kept me up as Scott did homework late into the night. The times we didn't see him for days because he went to work, to school, to print tote bags, to homework. All of it, worth it.

And I am so proud of him. Beyond proud. I don't even know how to describe it.

Sometimes, we laugh when we read Facebook status that say something like: "So proud of my hubby who graduated with his Master's in 1 year, got straight A's, worked full time, has 2 kids and STILL serves as the Bishop in our ward!" We know people like this exist, we just don't know how, and it makes us smirk a little.

Scott may not have started an NGO or graduated in the top 1% of his class. But Scott... he doesn't wear out. He doesn't mentally check out of school. He just keeps going. I don't think I have ever seen him skip a class because he didn't "feel like" going (something I was really good at doing in college). I've never seen him even consider taking a semester off, even when being the sole provider for our family and attending school full-time got really stressful. Never once. Giving up just isn't an option for Scott.

In the car on the way home, this song came on:

And Scott looked over at me and said: "We didn't give up, Carrie."
To which I replied: "ON AVERAGE, I didn't give up. There were days that I gave up, but overall we didn't."

My husband though?
He never had those days.
I could not be more proud to be married to him.

Baby's First Stand Up.

One thing I love about Georgia is that she is funny. Not like, she "does/says funny things." I mean, she does, but it's more than that. She really, TRULY wants to make people laugh. I will never forget the first time she laughed so hard she cried. She was 6 months old, and I made a raspberry (farting) sound with my mouth. Georgie was belly laughing so hard for so long that I was able to catch it on video and I'm so glad I did.

Because at 6 months old, she was trying to imitate what she thought was so hilarious. I'm sure there are plenty of people who will tell me that this isn't unique or new. They'll tell me that every baby does this or something, but I don't care. At 6 months, I knew we had a comedian on our hands.

So it shouldn't surprise me that she came up with a new "joke" yesterday. A while ago, we told Georgia to tell her Uncle Kade "no no!" about something. She obediently turned to him, and, with a single finger waving disapprovingly, shouted: "No no, Kade!"

Of course we all thought this was hilarious.

Georgia will sometimes be sitting in her car seat and out of nowhere will shout out "No no, Kade!" probably in an effort to make us laugh like we did the first time. But yesterday, as we gave her weak smiles, she changed the joke.

"No no... (mischievous grin)... Daddy!"

We of course, did our duty as parents and erupted into laughter and she was thrilled with our reaction. So she would say "No no ______" and fill in a list of people she knew, laughing as hard as we were with every line.

I get that to strangers, this isn't the most hilarious story I could tell about my 22 month old. But to me, it is special. I consider this the first time Georgia told an original joke, and, in my opinion, that is well worth documenting. It also makes me pretty dang proud.

Farmer.

Guess what I found out? Georgia's name? It means farmer. FARMER! I had no idea since we named her  after my great-grandmother but yeah. Farmer.

Why, yes, she DID lose those sunglasses. 

So I guess it's only right that we love to go to Wheeler Farms and look at all of the animals. Seriously, I love this place and at some point I will milk a cow there (they let you do that). Pretty much everything is free, and I really like watching Georgia say hi to the animals. This last time we went, she was a little more interested in the dirt than anything... that is until she tried to feed some of it to a giant goat who came charging up to her little hand and I was sure he was going to take it off. I went to save her, but she saved herself in time. Crazy goats.

We went with Anna and June this time. Miss June was killing me in her sunglasses.

 I love to watch those two and see just how unique their little personalities are.

If you are tired of looking at awesome photos of my tote bags, you can go ahead and stop reading here. We brought my "Howdy" bag to photograph since a farm setting seemed to fit. Of course, there was so many photo ops it was almost impossible to choose the 4 I would put up on Etsy.
So here's a bunch.
I love them.

Uneventful Senses.

5 Senses:*
Touching: Wipes and tissues. We have had some runny noses over here and I feel like I always, ALWAYS have a wipe or a tissue in my hand. How come stuffy noses take so long to get over with?

Tasting: The same crock-pot meal I made back on MONDAY. Scott's been busy trying to graduate college or something this week and so it's just been me and baby for dinner. Look at my big fat motivation to stick to a meal plan when it's just two girls completely satisfied with eating peanut butter and jelly morning, noon and night.

Hearing: Quotes from my favorite shows running through my head. As of this second, it's Tom from Parks and Rec whining: "I hate old stuff! It's like- just be new."

Smelling: Nothing. See touching.

Seeing: New awesome tote bag pictures by Anna. My shop is really starting to look pretty freaking cool and I'm kind of sad that you only get to see 4 of her photos in each listing. She just did some for my "I Miss Seattle" bag and they were adorable, so here is more from the shoot:

I got all weepy looking at these because I really do miss Seattle. So I went and made my very first Treasury List about it on Etsy.

...did I mention that Scott has been gone a lot? 

*Props to Brandilyn, who's blog I'm sponsoring this month, for the post layout.